"Two Years" Before my pen hits the page I can see the words Endlessly profound English morsels Tumbling into clumsy lines in my head Organizing themselves into delicate metaphors, crafting the perfect imagery To expel my point from my unconscious Then the pen And the translation's gone wrong Not quite the imagery I saw Not quite the sentences that were carefully queuing up in their orderly lines So much like waking from a dream and trying to remember It dissolves from the fertile realm where it exists the moment I try to focus on it, Cast out into the light where it shrivels and becomes almost unrecognizable, A parched husk of a thought that if touched will evaporate. How do I describe what this failure feels like? Or this pain and regret, this guilt... this crushing motherly guilt From all the moments stolen from us by my own illness And the relentless pursuit of time. How do I describe the brutality of hindsight's boiling clarity That I've been steeping in fo...