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Showing posts from April, 2019

PTSD Conditioning

Some days he walks away And anything that felt good before Turns to shit at the door Unfairly canceled out by Something That actually means Nothing My body won't agree My body feels betrayed By his responsibility ...................................... to leave me "He has to leave" I tell it "He'll be back" "He'll be the same" She disagrees Completely In my temples and behind my eyes I feel those saline pools Gathering for an appearance "STOP" my mind scolds "Shut that damn door" My body is in disbelief She's in desperate need She feels the sting of loneliness For 38 months All at once Like Ms Oliver told us The soft animal of my body Doesn't separate causes from effects A broken bone is broken nonetheless Biology is reactive and unreasonable It's Pavlovian It's conditioned to be what it's trained to be Through experience It makes no sense She feels the same as she