This is My Forties

Tuesday, January 16th - more snow and a cotton candy sunset. It wasn't much, but the ice beneath and timing of the snow itself  meant a snow day for the kids! Now that they're teenagers, that precious time is spent catching up on sleep, which makes working from home pretty easy for me. Wednesday, January 17th - the morning light changes throughout the year as the earth moves around the sun. In winter, it peeks in through my living room window and spotlights the entertainment center in warm light.  Thursday, January 18th - Braved the inch of ice on the ground to attend a legislative reception in Annapolis with my coworkers/friends. We spent the day networking, laughing, and planning to save our little section of the Chesapeake Bay watershed here in Southern Maryland. Friday, January 19th - Jug Bay snow day!!! The weather report called for snow to begin falling as school was supposed to just be getting started, so they announced cl...

Thursday, January 11th - Brennan spent the evening making homemade kimchi. Thanks to youtube university and TikTok, this generation feels informed and empowered to try new things.  Friday, January 12th - Binge watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I had started it before, but wasn't a fan (bad timing in my own life). Now I love it! Saturday, January 13th - Weekend site visit for a coastal erosion project. These professional wetland ecologists are the best in the business, but they don't ever talk down to anyone. Fabulous people.  Sunday, January 14th - New hobby supplies. Brennan has been getting into crochet and he tried teaching me. I failed miserably, but I'll keep trying! I also took him to Marshalls and was able find him an entire winter wardrobe... so many fluffy blue sweaters and all things coquette.  Pretty much the opposite of me 😏 Monday, January 15th - First dusting of snow! Got to spend a little extra ti...

Saturday, January 6th - Started the day with a rainy memorial, ended it with a homecooked meal and a game of Wingspan with good friends. Sunday, January 7th - Brennan was in a baking and cooking mood so he whipped up a layered dessert. He even made the pudding from scratch. It was delicious. Monday, January 8th - I thought this bell pepper looked like a nose so... why not. It's Monday. Tuesday, January 9th - I work in the environmental field so I do a lot of site visits for my job. Mostly for erosion and flooding issues. It happened to be right before a big storm so I was able to snap a lot of photos to include in our grant proposal that justify the need for a shoreline project here. The storm eventually came through and flooded the entire area. We also lost power for about 4 hours. We had plenty of camp lights and hobbies to get through those hours. Wednesday, January 10th - The only aftermath of the storm at our house wa...

So much has happened since I stopped writing in 2021. I stopped planning and started DOING in earnest. I landed a BIG job as an Executive Director of a local nonprofit. I am allowing myself to see me as an important and influential person, someone with worth and value to offer my community. It started with some terrified feelings and literal sweating my first few weeks. But now I am nearly 2 years in and loving it. I have grown into the position and didn't quit. I have days where I still question my abilities and the Board for hiring me... but, the impostor syndrome is mostly gone. I have had to face uncomfortable truths about myself as a professional, but I did it without a prolonged collapse or otherwise embarrassing childish reaction. I have grown. With 20 years of marriage down, we filed for divorce. After years of twisting myself in knots trying to be happy with only being who I thought he wanted, I realized it wasn't what I wanted... and that mattered . I realized that h...