Beginnings, Endings, and Project 365

So much has happened since I stopped writing in 2021. I stopped planning and started DOING in earnest. I landed a BIG job as an Executive Director of a local nonprofit. I am allowing myself to see me as an important and influential person, someone with worth and value to offer my community. It started with some terrified feelings and literal sweating my first few weeks. But now I am nearly 2 years in and loving it. I have grown into the position and didn't quit. I have days where I still question my abilities and the Board for hiring me... but, the impostor syndrome is mostly gone. I have had to face uncomfortable truths about myself as a professional, but I did it without a prolonged collapse or otherwise embarrassing childish reaction. I have grown.

With 20 years of marriage down, we filed for divorce. After years of twisting myself in knots trying to be happy with only being who I thought he wanted, I realized it wasn't what I wanted... and that mattered. I realized that he wasn't what I wanted... and that mattered. I wasn't wrong for not being able to like or want him; or to be someone he liked and wanted. Things have been amicable. The kids are fine. We lived apart for so long it feels like a natural conclusion to a decade of not quite happy. We talk of kids and finances and we are perfectly content to leave it at that. The anger and sadness are there. They will be dealt with in therapy when I'm ready. Hopefully soon.

I summitted Mount Kilimanjaro!! At around 9:30am local Tanzania time on September 28th, 2023 I stood atop the world's tallest freestanding mountain. Yup. It took about a year of planning and training and piecemeal purchasing of tickets and gear. Preparing for the trip itself was its own mountain-climbing experience for me, considering the self-doubt I had to deal with. I did it. I went. I climbed. I conquered. I took a ton of photos and videos! It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, and I am including the two times I gave birth without drugs. 

I decided to do another photo-a-day challenge, but kick it up a tiny notch with a promise to myself to also accompany every photo with a written description. Posted here. This way I combine my writing and photography together and hopefully create something I will look back on and thoroughly enjoy. I can even turn it into a book later if I wish. I also wanted to give myself some space to be more expressive if the mood strikes me. Blogs are perfect for that.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Still Happy!! HOORAY!!

Image
We're still going strong with our happiness levels out here. Yesterday was a little bit rough because Tristan was especially whiney, but today was amazing :) We got our grocery shopping done and even managed to have fun doing that! Noah and I were singing Christmas songs already while Tris and Bren laughed at us. Tristan sometimes piped in with a "all the way" when we were singing Jingle Bells. Noah was cracking up when I sang him the Batman version :D After all that excitement the 2 wee ones went down for their naps and Noah and I gave Bosley a bath with his new tea extract shampoo. He looks and smells so wonderful now :) He was in such a good mood after that too! Noah made a concoction of plum leaves, olives, dirt, and paper which he called "olive a cado". While he was doing his own grocery shopping I was taking some macro shots with my new focus point knowledge. I'm very happy. I thought I loved my camera before! Anyway... We also built a littl...
Read more

Almost Doesn't Count

Image
We almost ended up with a puppy today. An adorable baby Jack Russell Terrier mix wandered into our yard. He was very sweet, laid back, flea-ridden, dirty, cute, a little broken, good temperament, un-fixed, and very very good with Noah and Emma. I asked the neighbors about him and they showed me where the owner lived. She took him inside and told me how he's driving her crazy because he chews through collars and gets out of the yard (which is because he's a puppy and not an outside breed). She mentioned possibly getting rid of him. Lo and behold he wandered back into our yard not too long after that... interesting. I wanted to adopt him because he was unwanted, but shouldn't have been. He was a very sweet dog. I would have called him Jackie I think :) This brings me to a rant. I know I've posted about the way people around here treat their pets. This is a perfect example. This lady didn't want the puppy anymore so she simply let it go. No collar, no tags...
Read more

Project 365: Jan 16 - 20

Image
Tuesday, January 16th - more snow and a cotton candy sunset. It wasn't much, but the ice beneath and timing of the snow itself  meant a snow day for the kids! Now that they're teenagers, that precious time is spent catching up on sleep, which makes working from home pretty easy for me. Wednesday, January 17th - the morning light changes throughout the year as the earth moves around the sun. In winter, it peeks in through my living room window and spotlights the entertainment center in warm light.  Thursday, January 18th - Braved the inch of ice on the ground to attend a legislative reception in Annapolis with my coworkers/friends. We spent the day networking, laughing, and planning to save our little section of the Chesapeake Bay watershed here in Southern Maryland. Friday, January 19th - Jug Bay snow day!!! The weather report called for snow to begin falling as school was supposed to just be getting started, so they announced cl...
Read more