Beginnings, Endings, and Project 365

So much has happened since I stopped writing in 2021. I stopped planning and started DOING in earnest. I landed a BIG job as an Executive Director of a local nonprofit. I am allowing myself to see me as an important and influential person, someone with worth and value to offer my community. It started with some terrified feelings and literal sweating my first few weeks. But now I am nearly 2 years in and loving it. I have grown into the position and didn't quit. I have days where I still question my abilities and the Board for hiring me... but, the impostor syndrome is mostly gone. I have had to face uncomfortable truths about myself as a professional, but I did it without a prolonged collapse or otherwise embarrassing childish reaction. I have grown.

With 20 years of marriage down, we filed for divorce. After years of twisting myself in knots trying to be happy with only being who I thought he wanted, I realized it wasn't what I wanted... and that mattered. I realized that he wasn't what I wanted... and that mattered. I wasn't wrong for not being able to like or want him; or to be someone he liked and wanted. Things have been amicable. The kids are fine. We lived apart for so long it feels like a natural conclusion to a decade of not quite happy. We talk of kids and finances and we are perfectly content to leave it at that. The anger and sadness are there. They will be dealt with in therapy when I'm ready. Hopefully soon.

I summitted Mount Kilimanjaro!! At around 9:30am local Tanzania time on September 28th, 2023 I stood atop the world's tallest freestanding mountain. Yup. It took about a year of planning and training and piecemeal purchasing of tickets and gear. Preparing for the trip itself was its own mountain-climbing experience for me, considering the self-doubt I had to deal with. I did it. I went. I climbed. I conquered. I took a ton of photos and videos! It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, and I am including the two times I gave birth without drugs. 

I decided to do another photo-a-day challenge, but kick it up a tiny notch with a promise to myself to also accompany every photo with a written description. Posted here. This way I combine my writing and photography together and hopefully create something I will look back on and thoroughly enjoy. I can even turn it into a book later if I wish. I also wanted to give myself some space to be more expressive if the mood strikes me. Blogs are perfect for that.

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