This is My Forties

I just completed a 14.44 mile solo hike for my 44th birthday. I came here and found this old gem from 2021. When I was just starting to get into hiking more and trying to expand my confidence zone : https://blogunta.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-seven-mile-solo-hike.html I had therapy today and I just identified that a lot of the journaling I was doing before my divorce was me trying to un-feel things or change how I felt, fix how I felt, convince myself to feel something else. I would vent onto the page over and over and over about the same damned things and then talk myself out of it, make it my fault, make it about something I needed to grow into. I for sure needed to grow... and that will never stop. But, reading a lot of my old writing now I just want to scream at myself to stop trying to fix things and LEAVE ALREADY! I can't believe I was so blinded for so long. Recovery has been much faster now that I'm not consistently being re-injured! Now, the things in my confidence zone ar...

I was reminiscing about our time in Spain, looking at old photos.  I realized I haven't tried to do a photo a day challenge in quite some time!  Back when I did them I believed they were all boring, but now I love them all.  So, time for another 365 challenge. Now that I have a great phone camera I think I will make it to 365, as it will be far more convenient than the old SLR to RAW to editing to converting to uploading route I used to have to take.  In 2013 I was able to get 308, so let's see if I can top that.  The start date doesn't matter much to me, so why not begin on my birthday ;)

I'm so very very behind on updating and I figured the best way to remedy that situation is to dedicate one blog post per family member.  Sure, it'll be a long grueling process but, hey... you're worth it ;)  Let's start with the eldest cherub, shall we? Noah turned 9 back in mid-August and we had a wonderful time with our good friends and neighbors.  Josh and I had a bit of a revelation when we asked ourselves a simple question.  Why are we saying "no"?  Noah would ask us constantly if he could bake cookies and we always replied "no" and then... wait... why?  I can't tell you how many times we told our kids "no you can't" about something they were perfectly capable of doing, which probably felt a little disheartening for the wee poppets.  So we said yes and we've been holding onto that line of logic for all three of them since then.  It's been amazing.  Gone are the days of "no you can't"... now if we hav...

Can you believe Tristan is five?!  WOW!  Five is a big deal for me.  It's the end of toddlerhood.  I wasn't sad about it though (most likely due to still having another toddler in the house).   We had a bit of a surprise this year when Uncle Ben and Uncle Nate came down for a visit during Tristan's birthday.  Quick note.  Check out the Megabus .  It's ridiculously cheap and I don't know how much longer they can stay in business.  I mean... $1 for a 6hr drive can't be making them money, can it? Tristan was a little sad this year because Noah had school and Daddy had work.  However, that was quickly remedied with basically a three-day celebration for him.  He woke up early and opened presents with Noah there, cheering him on.  He did not get any live animals ;)  Three wii games, new clothes (he's not your typical little boy, he looooves clothes) & a remote control car.   Later on myself, Ben,...

All last week I was implementing various psychological warfare tactics on Noah.  We weren't going to celebrate his birthday, I didn't have time to get any presents for him, we forgot the day or didn't believe the current date.  He knew I was joking, but on some level he was afraid his birthday was going to be total crap.  It wasn't :) He got his eggs and toast for breakfast and shortly after that we headed out to see "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days" (his choice).  Personally I think Greg Heffley is a jerk-weed.  He lies all the time and thinks he's better than everyone.   But, Noah loved the books and it wasn't my birthday.  Noah had a good time sitting in his own huge leather recliner with his own fanta to drink. Noah chose wings for lunch and Buffalo Wild Wings was right across the street so away we went.  He got sweet barbecue :) Being in a family requires compromise... grocery shopping might not be fun, but it's necessary. ...

I think everyone else was more excited for Brennan's birthday than the birthday boy himself.  His only request was that we watch "Star Trek" (we're some proud nerds) and go out for a little bit.  Instead of hiding the presents, we hid the child this year.  It was pretty fun actually.  The unveiling of his new gigantic Air Force plane and Army guys was a huge success. They played with the new toys and intermittently stopped at the living room to watch the Star Trek movies until lunch time.  He requested build your own chicken wraps for lunch.  Fine by us! After lunch we went to the arcade in the mall and let him pick any games he wanted.  I took pictures with my phone and am too lazy to find an appropriate cable with which to download them.  This ain't the USA, y'all... I don't have a data plan.  ANYWAY!!!  They all had a lot of fun and we finished our visit with a stop at Haagen Dazs for some ice cream (Brennan picked ra...

Look at my big boy!!  My how he's changed this year!  He has transitioned from toddler to "kid" and while it seemed to drag on forever, it's as if the "switch" happened overnight.  Moms everywhere warn you it'll be gone before you know it, but you don't really get it until it happens.  That's what this blog is all about.  I will never forget and they will never forget me.  My voice will always be here, telling their stories.  Here is the simple story of Tristan's 4th birthday. We did a little bit of preschool because that's what Tris wanted, especially since his birthday was marked on the calendar with a big cake!  Then we took all the boys to the "pirate ship park" so they could expend some energy.  They climbed and slid and played and picked buckeyes.  When picking buckeyes and sticks turned to picking on each other and hitting with sticks, we left.  Sure sign of hunger! We had some beef stroganoff for lunch, delici...

The time has come for Tristan to say goodbye to the "terrible three's", and make way for the "hilarious four's".  I can't believe we've had him for four whole years now!  It's been quite a ride, right from the beginning.  We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant (and it only took a month long trip to Germany haha).  His birth story was action packed, but awesome. Tristan learned quickly and kept us on the run as soon as he possibly could. He's a troublemaker, a clown, a joy, a pain.  He's everything a little boy should be. We absolutely adore him and can't imagine our family without him!! Happy birthday, Tristan.  We love you!!  You're growing so fast!

The closest support site out here for American military is Rota Naval Station, a 7 hour drive. Certain things cannot be taken care of in Madrid and once in awhile we have to take the looooong trek out to the coast and make things happen. Getting on base is a hassle... doing anything on base is a hassle with all their outrageous regulations. We avoid going there at all cost. Unfortunately we had to go, and on Noah's birthday! Thankfully the trip was mostly paid for. We started off a little late, but we were just dandy. About halfway there our brand new tire blew. We had noticed a bulge in the rubber, but we didn't have time to send the faulty tire back to the states, wait for them to send a new tire to us, and then wait to be able to put it on. We took a risk. Bad idea. Whatever. We made it the rest of the way on a donut which Josh so fabulously changed in a mere 15 minutes. This was good because the traffic was ridonkulous on the highway and we almost died at ...