Gifts from the Past

I just completed a 14.44 mile solo hike for my 44th birthday. I came here and found this old gem from 2021. When I was just starting to get into hiking more and trying to expand my confidence zone: https://blogunta.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-seven-mile-solo-hike.html

I had therapy today and I just identified that a lot of the journaling I was doing before my divorce was me trying to un-feel things or change how I felt, fix how I felt, convince myself to feel something else. I would vent onto the page over and over and over about the same damned things and then talk myself out of it, make it my fault, make it about something I needed to grow into. I for sure needed to grow... and that will never stop. But, reading a lot of my old writing now I just want to scream at myself to stop trying to fix things and LEAVE ALREADY!

I can't believe I was so blinded for so long. Recovery has been much faster now that I'm not consistently being re-injured! Now, the things in my confidence zone are every single item on that old list and then some. I even posted videos of myself. I used to hate videos of myself, but now I'm getting to love my voice and believe in its value, for myself and for others.

If you're interested, you can see me in all my sweaty glory as I hiked in Rocksylvania to complete a section of the Tuscarora Trail in my 44th Birthday flickr album:

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