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Water is for Losers, Coffee is for Winners

When the temperatures are dropping and winter starts rearing its ugly head I start hating water.  I can drink water all summer long and it tastes like a miraculous beverage created by God and his choir of chemistry geniuses.  In winter I feel like I'm drinking medicine brewed by evil goblins that are jealous of human taste buds.  Yeah, I know I'm supposed to have 10 glasses of water a day but it's just so... blech :P  Know what's awesome though?  Coffee.  Hot, delicious, diuretic, dehydration-causing coffee.  It warms me to my core, stops me from snacking all day long to put on winter weight, and it tastes of sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and miracles and fairy dust.  You can imagine why this would become a problem.  Every morning I wake up with swollen hands & feet and aching joints because I'm dehydrated and packed with sodium.  All which could be assuaged by drinking water , but... gross.  Why would you even suggest that...