This is My Forties

On this day we appreciate and show gratitude for all those special women in our lives.  We recognize, as a whole country, the importance of the role of "mother".  So, it was interesting that I had an attack of self-loathing yesterday while we were celebrating early.  I don't deserve this.  I'm worthless, weak, a coward, a failure, lumpy and bumpy, crooked, broken < >.  It happens once in awhile.  It lasted until the morning despite my efforts (and Josh's) to help me process the REALITY from the emotional conditioning I've heaped onto myself over these 33 years of life.  It helped a little, but still I was feeling very guarded this morning.  Then I decided to write about it instead.  Here's what leaked out onto the page and liberated me from feeling worthless.  Maybe you can draw some insight or inspiration.  We all do it, or have done it at some point in time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...

The flowers Had a meeting today They decided one type Makes a better display You may have been orange and tall by design But we want only red and short On vines So one by one each type was cut Until only roses were left But The garden wasn't made for the garden The flowers don't exist for themselves The bees and the birds were missing their perch And the foxes suffered as well Nothing alive is pointless The weed, the bug, or you We each have a role before us And we exist for it as we do When roses decide you're unwelcome Remember you were never a rose And even the weed is important Realize your role and grow