I've Always Hated Purging
When I was little I hated puking so much that once I wouldn't open my mouth, thinking that would somehow stop the inevitable. It didn't. Sure burned my nose though. I still hate purging. I'd rather suffer for longer than have a painful build-up and then a violent purge followed by general feeling of wellness. Whatever! I can handle the pain for longer if it means feeling a little more in control! I need to vent, and I apparently need to vent to a crowd so that my throat and neck stop throbbing. I don't want to. I hate this. I loathe this exercise so much. I feel like I've done this so many times, but nothing changes. I hate complaining, even if it's about MYSELF. I have typed probably 15 emails or texts or messages to people this week that I won't send. Why? Because I'm SURE these people don't want to have anything to do with me whatsoever. Why? I DON'T KNOW!!! I was told just this month that...