I just completed a 14.44 mile solo hike for my 44th birthday. I came here and found this old gem from 2021. When I was just starting to get into hiking more and trying to expand my confidence zone : https://blogunta.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-seven-mile-solo-hike.html I had therapy today and I just identified that a lot of the journaling I was doing before my divorce was me trying to un-feel things or change how I felt, fix how I felt, convince myself to feel something else. I would vent onto the page over and over and over about the same damned things and then talk myself out of it, make it my fault, make it about something I needed to grow into. I for sure needed to grow... and that will never stop. But, reading a lot of my old writing now I just want to scream at myself " you aren't crazy! he's a lying, manipulative, emotionally abusive narcissist! it's NOT YOU, it's HIM! GO!! ". This section from that post: My inner voice mutes the accomplishments, downgrades ...