This is My Forties

I decided the best thing to do this holiday season to counteract the lonliness and depression would be to list off some things I am thankful for... to make me remember. I'm thankful that even though he's far away, my husband is alive and well and I can talk to him every day and even see him on the webcam. I'm fortunate that those times, like today, when Noah is sick I can make a phone call and have him seen by a doctor the same day. We have a home, a car, cable, computers... anything we want or need. We have jobs that provide for us and are still able to pay off bills and save some money. I'm thankful that I have family out here. Vita and Joe you guys made my Christmas, even though I may have seemed like a stick in the mud I had a great time and I really appreciate you coming over for the holidays. I cannot describe how thankful I am for our son. He's been sick and whiney and clingy, but I can't imagine life without him and I admire the str...

I go back and forth on the war... ambivalent, I suppose. No, I don't agree with how it was begun. No, I don't agree with us being there. However, I DO believe that eventually these islamic extremists would become a huge threat to our country and others. Is occupying Iraq the answer? Probably not. Fighting terrorism is a long, hard process... the fact that we're in it alone means it will be even longer. I wonder, though... if we had stayed home, would they just keep fighting each other? What about September 11th? Was that a sign that it was time to react to all the warnings we'd been presented with? I think we chose Iraq because it's in the heart of the Middle East, it has a larger population of Shi'ite than Sunnis and the infrastructure was already f-ed thanks to the previous war. That and we knew they didn't have any real means of fighting back since we'd already forced them to disarm (which is why the reason they gave for going to war in the first plac...

I can understand why this is the biggest fear among deployed or deploying men and women... the divorce statistics are mind boggling. I don't really know what I want to say about it, but I'm glad they made a postsecret . I guess I just want to apologize to every soldier, man or woman, who has been left alone upon coming home. I wish I could somehow talk to every S.O. and tell them something to make them stay so no one would have to come home more empty than when they left. I wish I could help everyone get through this stupid bullshit, but I can't. So, I will repost this secret so that somehow this shared fear will help you all feel less alone. This song is the best representation of this situation I have come across. And to Josh I say again... babe, there is no way in hell I am going to leave you. I am not going to leave you. I am right here. I am staying here. I am waiting for you to come home. I will wait until this is all over. I love you. I am still waiting, babe... I W...