Anti-Drama

I've been reading all these inspiring books and feeling motivated to do something... and then I realize I'm a big fat chicken.  I come up with reasons why I can't travel that have no basis in the real world, but merely exist in my own head.  I find excuses not to write or take pictures or draw or do anything creative.  Enough is enough.  Hence, I'm blogging... about everything and nothing.

I'm sitting here in the office, making myself write what's in my head even though every tiny fiber of my being would much rather be sitting on my butt on the couch watching mindless cop dramas.  Which is basically where I've been for the past few days.  I'm typing because... I know it will make me feel better.  Then tomorrow I can get off the couch and engage with my children and love them and enjoy my husband on his day off.  I will no longer have this nagging feeling that I am a worthless housewife with no talent and even less guts.  None of this is true.  I know this.  I'm awesome.  I just don't DO anything with my awesomeness and the guilt and disappointment eat me alive sometimes.

So, don't be surprised if this once safe haven full of precious baby photos and good news turns into a dumping ground for my own anti-drama once in awhile.  Mama needs her outlets or she's going to lose her damn mind.  Going to give a go at poetry, which I haven't done in about a decade.

Tiny socks
From tiny feet
Caked with dirt
Holey jeans
For skinny wittle baby legs
Little bitty
Teeny tiny
Eensy weensy
Smaller
Shrinking
Fading
Leaving
"Stop fighting"
"Just eat"
"Play nice"
And... it's gone.
Nothing
I'm nothing
Just mom.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Good stuff.
We're going to the planetarium this weekend! I'm excited!!  I love astronomy.  I just finished a great book, and am waiting on the next one to get here from Baltimore (our library will order them for you from all around the entire state).  It's called Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers.  How apropos ;)  I read about in the book I just finished (The Element by Ken Robinson).  Such a small amount of writing and I feel better already.  Yay! :)