Social Anxiety

It's not the going that does it
Not the performance
Or the gulping down painful flexes of heart and throat
That foreshadow my future.

It's not the interaction that does it
I fare well in those.
I'm witty and funny, respectful and endearing

It's the after that does it
When I'm alone and still

And can finally feel

And the reel hits rewind

And I see myself

Exaggerated
Awkward and out of place
Tripping on words
Misinterpreting, interrupting, sweating
Acting a fool
Never shutting up
And I hate this tape
But it's already made
I hit rewind
And I hit play

Rewind and play... can't
Rewind and play... stop
But, no it's not the them that does it,

It's always been me.
Wrongfully assuming I can see how they see.