Why I Never Win at Monopoly

Noah's finally old enough to play Monopoly and asked Josh to teach him.  Calendar-marking moment for the hubs since it's his favoritest game in the whole wide world.  I will play, but it just doesn't give me warm fuzzies.  My happy place can be found in any word game.  I don't really enjoy games with a modicum of chance because it frustrates me to not have control over whether I win or lose and I am an incredibly competitive person.  There are dice games I happen to be very lucky in:  Phase 10, Yahtzee, Backgammon.  Monopoly has never been one.

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The game starts off all well and good.  I make my way around the board and buy up every property I land upon, which is the strategy most Monopolizers use.  Then a problem emerges.  I'm not landing on new property anymore.  I land on the same properties over and over and over again.

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Once that has lost its appeal to the Monopoly gods, I land on every community chest and chance space.  Granted, later on this has an advantage since I am being spared the requirement to pay rent hand over fist, but it's really just delaying the inevitable.  

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I usually end up with about 5 properties while my counterparts have double that amount.  My only saving grace is that the properties I've purchased are appealing to the other players because without them they don't own an entire street on which to develop those damned red hotels.  I manage to trade off and get one street of my very own.  One street to build some hotels on and hope someone lands on my property so I can afford to pay the rent on the rest of the block I do not own.  This keeps me afloat for a bit, but eventually I will go bankrupt... and it's usually Boardwalk's red menace that does me in.

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Another reason I never win at Monopoly is it requires much more math than I am comfortable performing.  This is especially embarrassing whilst playing with an eight-year-old who happens to be great at math and a husband who scoffs in the face of algebra.  Also... Monopoly reminds me of real life too much: scraping by to pay bills, not being able to get ahead, having short-lived moments of financial stability (thank you free parking) only to have them ripped from your clutches on the next roll, and feeling powerless to stop this trend.

All this being said, I actually like playing Monopoly.  Life experience has taught me that when approaching this game I should never expect to win.  If I just play for the joy of playing, I'm good.

-the end

Comments

Babs Haake said…
I've never liked monopoly either. I've never figured out why people do like it. I'm glad to hear you don't either. My favorite game is pinocle and I'm so glad you took the time to learn it. I hope when we start getting to play it together you will enjoy it as much as Jayne and I do. I love the bidding, the gambling on a hand that just takes good strategy and your estimation of your opponents flaws. LOL
2/12/2013 12:22 PM
Ben Haake said…
Monopoly to me is the glorification of everything I abhor. Paying attention, doing math, watching other people succeed, regret that i should have been paying more attention, money, more regret. I think to make the game more interesting, there should be a player that is designated to the roll of one that collects entitlement benefits and lives in one of the hotels for free at the expense of all the other player. This player cannot lose but they also can't win. Their only satisfaction comes from sticking it to the man. That would be me in the game I think. I'd also require that every time you land on a certain space, you feed me a cheetoh. The space would be called "government cheese" I think then I would like playing monopoly. I love cheesy snacks.
2/12/2013 12:48 PM
Babs Haake said…
You had your dad laughing with this post and Bens reply. Ben you are hilarious
2/22/2013 9:38 AM
Sandy said…
I do often play games I don't enjoy and have no shot at winning. It is the price I pay for hanging out with people in HOPES of playing games I will enjoy. At those times, I often find it fun to just mess with people. Ok, perhaps it's not nice, but there is an amazing amount of satisfaction to be had in thwarting people's plans. Just hang in there long enough to bust up that monopoly, break that longest road, trump that trick that would have won the game. Even if you can't win, you can be the game changer. Of course, be sure your opponents don't hold grudges. I happen to be married to a grudge-holder, so I've learned to target others in hopes of a peaceful night when I return home. So if you're ever wondering, "Why on earth did she do that?" now you know my secret. I'm evil.
2/27/2013 8:57 PM
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