Love it All

Just wrote this before a very difficult session of repeating over and over again out loud "I acknowledge that I failed" -breathe- "I forgive myself for failing" -breathe- ... and I had to do it until the 2nd part stopped crushing my chest and making me cry.  Took some time.  Many many breaths.  Why share this?  Because we've all been there and it's not something to be ashamed about or hide.  I wanted to share how I get through those moments.  Maybe you can try it too and it will do the same.  Now my heart feels better, my chest isn't tight.  Now I can breathe.  Will I have to do it again soon?  Maybe.  Sometimes it takes more than once before the full effect of all that anger and negativity is really out of me... before I can forgive myself for being weak.  Anyway, here it is.

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"Love it All"

Without my victim I'd never know depression
So I'd never notice you there in the darkness
Without my victim I'd have no empathy for your pain
Or your weakness, your failures
Without my victim there's no forgiveness

We all lose sometimes
And in that way someone wins
Giving in is what prompts another to catch you
Falling is how others get their chance to shine
As much as I hate my victim at times
I know she is mine

She helps guide my pen
"Just keep going" only happens after she wins
She helps me get lost
So I can love being found
Reminds me of truths passed down

Dark nights are where we find our lessons
Without our victims we'd never get them
Weakness is how we know what strength is
I thank my victim for showing me my dark places

Without my victim I'd be a terrible sidekick
Too afraid to march into hell beside him
But, my victim's already taken me there
And once you've been it takes more to scare

Our victims are the most miserable and forgotten
Like Gollum
But sometimes, we have to follow them.
There is no light without darkness
Even within
Thank the victim
But, don't stay with him.