I don't feel like it

I quit smoking yesterday. I didn't plan it. I didn't savor the final cigarette. I had one at 1030 and then I was going to have another after I ate... I got distracted, my friend Amy called from DLI and I was talking to her for awhile. It was 1230. I thought about my lungs and I thought about the nastiness I felt that morning in my chest, and I couldn't make myself want a cigarette. My other friend Amy from work was on her 3rd day smoke free and she did it the same way. She said she thought "I'm 25... how long am I going to smoke, am I going to be 30 and smoking?" so she just stopped. I broke down and lit one last night, but I couldn't breathe it in. I just didn't want to. I think I just felt like holding it.

Our cat "Rocky" (Rockafeller) died, he was 18 years old. He lived a long and fulfilled life. He had people and other cats around all the time. He struggled over to my little brother Ben, Ben pet him for awhile and then Rocky walked away and just lied down and let himself go. He said goodbye. I think he really loved all of us. He could come inside when he wished, but he had this great backyard in the woods with a creek and tons of critters to hunt as well. My sister got him when she was 10 after she went to the State spelling bee. He used to purr louder than any cat on the planet, he even purred when he meowed. I have never been more allergic to any cat haha. His all time favorite place was under the Christmas tree, he couldn't wait for it to be put up. I really loved him and I will miss him. I remember celebrating his birthday one year. We put milk in his dry catfood and pieces of cheese. It turned into this nasty mess of mashed madness, but he loved it :) RIP, Frockendeller. We'll miss you.


josh said…
i cant believe rocky died... i think that was the only cat i ever met that i really liked... well him and linus. im working on quitin too, down to less than half a pack a day now. at least we both have people around that already dont smoke and people that are also trying to quit... maybe that'll help.
im waitin for you to get online right now and its making me sad to talk to your blog instead of you... but i'll take what i can get. i love you. ttyl
Allie said…
It's 5am and I really want Noah to just stop crying and go back to sleep... that's what I'm waiting on. I tried holding him, he kept crying. Might as well do that in his own bed. He's slowing down. I just never should have picked him up in the first place, but he's sick. Ahh... ok gnite.

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