and so begins the blessed day off

Noah was a lot better this morning so I shuttled him on over to daycare. I refuse to go back to sleep. I want as much self time as I can get. I think I am going to get back into my car and just drive. There's a lot that needs done. The house is a mess. I need to make a dr. appt. for Noah. The car needs a tune up, tire rotation and oil change pretty badly. I want to go over to Security Service Federal Credit Union and start putting money into savings there. Will I do any of this? I don't know. Right now the only thing I'm up for is taking movies back to hollywood. All I know is I really don't want to be in the house. So... why am I here, you ask. Well, I needed to grab more cigs from the freezer. I think maybe if I do some productive things I'll feel better. I feel rather blah today.

I've been missing Josh a lot lately. I feel like I am constantly on the verge of tears. Songs make me want to cry. TV makes me want to cry. Noah makes me want to cry. The internet, the webcam, writing letters, being at home, trying to sleep, driving past the airport, taking a shower. Even tiny moments of happiness make me a little sad... not during, of course, but immediately afterwards. He's not here to be happy with me... it just makes everything a little less happy. Especially anything having to do with Noah. He turned 17 months old yesterday. I went to Starbucks this morning and all I could think about was backgammon, music, laughing, talking... Josh. I thought: wonder what Josh and I would do with this day off (besides each other hahaha).

Time for some new thoughts. The weather's shitty, looks like rain. I'm probably not going to go check out the ranch today. Plus, if something happens with Noah I want to be able to get back rather quickly. Anyway... I'm outta here. I think I will go to the bank. Saving money and making plans for the future makes me happy. Future is looking great. Present is OK with a chance of good. Past was mostly suck with a chance of ok and lots of gut-wrenching catalysts for change.

I love you, baby :) 71 more days!

Comments

Nerdular said…

I was listening to this song in the car today while I was sitting still for 20 minutes because of construction (BLAH!)... but anyway, it made me think of you guys.

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/ours-red-colored-stars-lyrics.html

You should download that album (Ours - Precious). I think you'd like it.

1/16/2006 12:11 PM

josh said…

keep focus on the future babe... im glad you are getting the day for whatever you feel lke you need or want to do... sorry im not there to help with the cleaning.
i love you

1/16/2006 4:12 PM

Very bad day today

I got a horrible phone call early this morning from someone I used to work with. A friend of mine, who was stationed in Iraq, was killed yesterday in her sleep when her trailer was hit. SGT Trista Moretti was an amazing person. She had an impact on so many lives in so many places. It's going to be tough for everyone (like me) who can't make it to Jersey to say goodbye. I've been crying off and on all damn day. It seems so unfair. I hate this war and don't agree with it, but I don't think she died in vain. She died for everyone else out there. They fight for each other, not a cause, not their government. That's what I miss about the Army. I miss my comrades. Trista was hilarious and beautiful and had this great Jersey accent. We used to play word games and gossip and eat lunch together every day. We would laugh all day long while we "worked" haha. I remember when she first got to the unit I told everyone some bitchy chick with an accent was in the...

Hurricane Sandy

This will be a gleefully uneventful post, but I thought I should at least inform everyone of our whereabouts during Frankenstorm. On Friday the landfall predictions were further south, which had the eye passing near our tiny town after obliterating Dover, DE. We happen to be surrounded by water. The Patuxent River on one side, Chesapeake Bay on the other, plenty of swamps and creeks in between. Not a good prospect. Josh and I had gone out that night to try and secure supplies and already, there were no batteries or flashlights. We also don't have a grill and thought "we'll try Lowe's tomorrow"I mean, most people already own grills... right? Everything in our house is run on electricity (including the water pump for the well) except for the fireplace. I don't know what builders are thinking when they do that. I at least want a gas stove and water heater! So, anyways. We got a few hours of sleep before trying to brave the crowds...

Hiking on the Guadarrama Trail

As promised yesterday, I actually left the house and went on a hike with Mama C and Goober! YAY! I was a bad Mommy and ill prepared to shield us from the hot Spanish sun so we all have a touch of sunburn. Whoops. It was fun though. OK so here's where we began our journey. You can see the bridge between the roundabout and the little house with a red roof (which is a restaurant). All the cylindrical buildings were a plant nursery. We walked over the bridge and past the nursery where we crossed the street and then started up the dirt path. The other little building is literally a Gypsy Keep. Here's what it looked like from the road... and it was so ridiculously creepy, yet fascinating. I don't know why there is always tons of junk in trees around gypsy places. There was a gutted van in the backyard, a stroller jammed into a wall, shorts in the trees. We both wanted to trespass, but the kids would have inevitably fal...

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