3 Days and Counting

I'm already sick of Josh being gone. I thought I was done with this "going it alone" shit. I guess I should have known better. Things don't really change all that much when he's not here. Just a few little things... like not gettin' any! (hahaha sorry).

Noah put his flight suit on yesterday and said "I'm going to school to find Daddy. He's lost. He's all alone. I go find him". Then he hopped on his trike and rode around the yard, came back and told me "I'm so so sad, really really sad" I asked him why and he replied "can't find him. I lost Daddy". It sucks. Every night when I tuck him in he tells me "Daddy coming home soon! He's at school" and I say "yep" but really he's not. We've got a long way to go.
4 comments

Popular posts from this blog

New Beginnings

Image
After tons of research and conversations, we've decided to try something completely new.  The kids are going to be home with me next year instead of attending school.  I'm writing all about it on another blog for anyone interested in following this little adventure :)  We probably will also have a few trips to Germany and elsewhere mixed in... SO EXCITED!  I get really nervous about telling people about my choices for some reason, but I'm working on it.  It was time to finally let everyone know.
Read more

The Bullied Become Bullies

I believe the main reason bullying has become such a problem is our continued mistreatment of children.  We are bullies to them.  We are sarcastic and cynical and disrespectful.  We lord our power over them.  We hit them.  We say everything we want, however we want, as loud as we want, and tell them they cannot respond similarly.  We tell them how they feel and how they should feel.  We tell them what their intentions are.  We don't ask them or help them think through these complicated issues.  We don't practice patience.  We publicly shame them.  We don't trust them or have faith in their abilities.  We tell them what they can wear and say and when they can eat, sleep, even go to the bathroom.  It's insane.  We say "you can be anything", but our actions are fear-filled and insecure and opposite our words.  We give them no autonomy or control over their own lives.

This is especially true during middle school years, when kids are earnestly trying to become in…
Read more

I've Always Hated Purging

When I was little I hated puking so much that once I wouldn't open my mouth, thinking that would somehow stop the inevitable.  It didn't.  Sure burned my nose though.  I still hate purging.  I'd rather suffer for longer than have a painful build-up and then a violent purge followed by general feeling of wellness.  Whatever!  I can handle the pain for longer if it means feeling a little more in control!

I need to vent, and I apparently need to vent to a crowd so that my throat and neck stop throbbing.  I don't want to.  I hate this.  I loathe this exercise so much.  I feel like I've done this so many times, but nothing changes.  I hate complaining, even if it's about MYSELF.

I have typed probably 15 emails or texts or messages to people this week that I won't send.  Why?  Because I'm SURE these people don't want to have anything to do with me whatsoever.  Why?  I DON'T KNOW!!!

I was told just this month that I'm really bright, I know "ev…
Read more