This is our last weekend with Josh before he goes TDY for a month. I'm mad at him. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. He's just going to up and leave me here with 3 kids, a house, and a dog to take care of alone. I'm nervous and I don't want him to leave. Will I be fine? Of course. I always am... but I want to punch a wall and scream, and maybe kick a few things. Basically I want to throw a temper tantrum because I'm not getting my way. I thought I could just talk myself out of this, but then I realized I don't want to... I'm pissed. We have a lot to do this weekend before he leaves, but I have a feeling nothing is going to get done.

Every tiny thing that has ever bothered me about him is bothering me at least ten times worse than usual. Picking up his dirty clothes from all rooms of the house, for example. Or cleaning off his bed-side table since God knows he will never do it himself. Looking at the pile of clean/dirty clothes in his corner. Doing the dishes after some extravagant meal he cooked. Putting his shoes away. It all seems worse because it's bad enough I have to do this alone for a month, but he isn't helping me before he leaves... he's making it WORSE.

Does any of this matter? Of course not. I'm just mad at him for leaving... but I'm not allowed because he's been ordered to leave. I have to be the supportive "grin and bear it" Army wife. So, I guess I'll just get extra extra mad at all the things I'm allowed to be angry about. Josh I love you. I just really don't want you to go. I'm nervous. Don't hate me if I cry on you all weekend.

Why did I share this? I know a certain newlywed who's about to say goodbye to her husband for a year-long deployment. She needs to know that despite your best efforts and your reasoning, you will be mad at your husband for leaving. It might not come out that way... it will come out as some bizarre fight over walking the dog or laundry or him having the audacity to smile haha. But, that's how it works. Hopefully he'll understand and you will too.

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