This is My Forties

Though I have been depressed, life is trudging on. I had my 7mo baby appointment and everything is right on track. I'm 28wks and 5 days along. My belly is a whopping 29cm. I didn't get any guff about losing a little weight. My blood pressure wasn't high this time. My sugar test came back normal. I've got a little sciatica so the doc gave me some stretches to try out. She also suggested I finally cash in those 2 prenatal massage certificates I got for my birthday. Other than that, everything looks good. Noah got to press the button to find the baby's heartbeat. He loves this doctor, she always includes him. My friend Brandon, kind soul that he is, showed up yesterday to mow my lawn. He didn't just mow, though. He brought all his own equipment, including gas... he edged and weed whacked and blew all the clippings away. He went over the lawn twice so that everything would be mulched up pretty well. I couldn't believe how nice my yard looked. I ...

I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be able to go to Trista's funeral. It's necessary to say goodbye when someone dies. That's why we even have funerals. I didn't know how I was going to say goodbye to her until today. I go on her myspace like 20 or more times a day, but I never comment or leave her a message. I think I was avoiding it. I just didn't want to admit she was gone. Finally I sent her a message. I babbled on and on to her forever, still not wanting to actually say it... all I had to do was type "goodbye, Trista" and I couldn't do it. I finally did. I don't feel better. I feel... yeah I really don't know how I feel right now. I want to take my goodbye back and pretend she just hasn't been on Myspace since Sunday. At my grandmother's funeral back in April I had the same problem. I didn't want them to close her casket... I was still saying goodbye to her. I was still holding on to her image and I ju...

I felt a bit better today. I didn't cry nearly as much, most of the time I would remember her and just laugh and shake my head. Trista was definitely crazy haha. I hope all Trista's other friends and the Moretti's are feeling a little better today as well, recounting the endless hilarious tales I'm sure Trista was involved in. I plan to print out the posts about her and all the comments from everyone and send them to her family. I think they would love to see how many people will miss her. I'm going to wait a few more days so everyone can come say what they want. I might even wait until after the funeral, which hasn't been announced yet. This has been my personal blog for years now so excuse me while I catalog my boring life for awhile. I woke up early and actually took a shower, which made me feel better. I ate a decent breakfast. I've got my 7 month baby appointment tomorrow and I don't know how much crap I'm going to get about losing 2lb...

I've been overwhelmed by the press coverage and public outpouring of support for Trista's family and friends. The city of South Plainfield, NJ is displaying flags at half mast, lighting candles, posting signs... it's very touching and I know her family appreciates it. The Patriot Guard Riders are on standby to attend her funeral and give her a heroes send-off. I've gotten a lot of comments on here and although I was nervous about all the attention, I'm also glad to offer someplace for people to speak. It's unnerving to be "in the public eye" so to speak. I just keep reminding myself it's not ME it's TRISTA... and she deserves to be known and remembered and honored. I'm also glad to take the attention upon myself rather than allow it to fall on her family. Today was not any better than yesterday. First thing this morning I checked the news and there she was... a confirmed name and small DoD statement about how she passed. It was re...

My blog has been found by the powers of Google and I am being contacted by reporters for statements and pictures of Trista. Sorry, members of the press, I just don't feel up to it. These pictures are not mine, they are all Trista's and I cannot give permission to anyone to use them. I would hope that you would respect that and not force me to take any of the pictures down. I would contact her family, but I personally don't think it's right to bother them with this. My blog is up as a tribute and a place where people can go and leave their goodbyes without cluttering her Myspace. Just tell everyone that everywhere she went she had friends. And that we're all going to miss her. Update: Since the vultures have started in on my blog I left only one photo up which I'm sure no one will mind being posted. FYI reporters... SHE WAS A SERGEANT !!! The official release from the DoD even states that so calling her a Specialist is getting pretty annoying. She ear...

I got a horrible phone call early this morning from someone I used to work with. A friend of mine, who was stationed in Iraq, was killed yesterday in her sleep when her trailer was hit. SGT Trista Moretti was an amazing person. She had an impact on so many lives in so many places. It's going to be tough for everyone (like me) who can't make it to Jersey to say goodbye. I've been crying off and on all damn day. It seems so unfair. I hate this war and don't agree with it, but I don't think she died in vain. She died for everyone else out there. They fight for each other, not a cause, not their government. That's what I miss about the Army. I miss my comrades. Trista was hilarious and beautiful and had this great Jersey accent. We used to play word games and gossip and eat lunch together every day. We would laugh all day long while we "worked" haha. I remember when she first got to the unit I told everyone some bitchy chick with an accent was in the...

I am slowly working on the house, which is the best way for someone as pregnant as I. Today I took most of the pictures and some shelves down and spackled all the little holes in the walls. I wore my pink shirt to photography class today since I love it so much. The pics were taken after work was done and Noah was in bed... reenactments of the day's events. Just wanted everyone to know I didn't wear the same shirt like 3 days in a row haha. Anyway, I also went and got all the touch up paint we'll need, including some basic white paint to try and cover up Noah's walls. I'm not looking forward to that job. I'm afraid it won't paint over well since I was lazy and used a sharpie marker on the outlining instead of paint. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, I guess. Hit a snag today. I was thinking about getting replacement closet doors, but then I realized why we never did in the first place... they don't make doors in these sizes. The talles...

It rained nearly all day today. We were able to play with bubbles for maybe 15 minutes before all the storms hit this morning. I was barely done with my honey nut cheerios when I felt the first few drops. Good thing Noah had his new umbrella! He would have been upset about bubble-time being cut short today otherwise. I let him play in the rain out front for about an hour. Then we went inside and made hot chocolate (even though it wasn't cold out and never is). It just felt like the right thing to do. The rest of the day Noah did puzzles and watched movies while I tried to get rid of the clutter all over the house. I've got most of what I'm sending to the storage unit all sorted out already. Now all I have to do is get a storage unit. I can't decide if I want to have a garage sale or just donate all this stuff to Goodwill. Right now Goodwill is winning because it sounds like much less of a hassle. I found and mapped 9 more housing possibilities today as well....

Nothing too eventful today and it was wonderful :) Noah didn't take a nap, but never got really obnoxious. It's only 6 now, but that means after this post all that's left is dinner, dishes, bath, and bed. I think we're pretty much home free. I went out to Target to beg for boxes, but they didn't have any. They suggested I call at night and ask them to hold onto some for me, which is easily done. I can't believe we're actually going to move. I can't believe we're moving TOGETHER . Honestly, I can't. Josh doesn't have orders in hand yet so until that happens I will calmly clean and organize to move, but not really believe it's happening. Anyway... while I was at Target I spent my birthday gift card from Josh's Dad and his wife, Kim. Thanks so much, guys!! I bought 4 more maternity shirts and a pair of shorts :D I tried to get more colors and styles. Not a single blue-green shirt this time. We also hit up the one spot as ...

I am exhausted! I thought I had to do something special today so we went to Sea World. It was like 94 degrees outside with 82% humidity... NOT FUN, especially not for someone who's 6 months pregnant. Sea World is like being in a herd of cattle, getting rounded up from place to place. You watch a show, you stampede out and follow to the next show, more stampeding. There were some high points. Noah loved all the shows and I love seeing Noah so in awe of the animals. He also got to hold a snake, which was hilarious because as soon as he touched it he went :O and covered his mouth and gasped. Too cute. He got tired towards the end, and so did I. We only stayed for a few hours. I spent a lot of my time noticing how there weren't really any groups less than 4, and they all seemed to include Daddies. I felt bad for myself. Then the heat and hormones really got to me and I cried a little bit at the Shamu show when they asked all the military and their families to stand up ...

I noticed that most of my pregnancy dreams involve bathrooms. Most likely sometime during the night the urge hits me, but doesn't wake me up so I end up having really odd dreams. Last night I dreamed Vita and I had rented a cabin on the beach for the summer. We had just gotten there and were unpacking when I decided to find a place to relieve myself. Where's the bathroom?!?!?!... awkwardly nestled under a counter with a sink was a crawl space. In the tiny hole was a normal sized toilet and no headroom. How do they expect a person to crawl onto the pot?! There was a secondary option, on the counter was a nice little sink-like opening that lead to said trapped toiley... in fact it was connected to the kitchen sink (talk about gross). Above the kitchen sink was cupboards so again, no headroom. I was trying to picture a way to put one foot in the kitchen sink and inch my way up to the potty hole while folded in half when some commotion started up outside. Apparently the ow...

Last night was quite interesting. We suddenly were hit with huge thunderstorms and as I shut down the computer and tried to flip through channels for weather warnings the power went out. Not only did it go out... it was out for 7 hours!!! :O We were waking up every hour or so just to grunt about the humidity in our AC-less house. It didn't help that I lit a few candles for some light. I played with my camera for about an hour, experimenting with candles and my manual settings., mostly the shutter lag. I can get up to 8 seconds of shutter lag. I got some pretty interesting effects. I really really want a tripod! In fact... I think I need one. Maybe I'll go buy one for myself tomorrow for my "big" 26th birthday. Today was just another day for us :P Booooooo. We talked to the Grandpa's and, of course, Joshua. We went to Walmart because it was quite apparent that Noah had outgrown almost all his teeshirts. I was tiring of the same 5 outfits every week a...

Vita and I hung out again today. She just got a new lens for her camera and wanted to try it out so we spent most of the day taking pictures. I wish I had a camera with "lenses"... maaaaan. First we went over to a friend's house to let his dog out and play with him a bit. Then we were off to the Bass Pro Shop to eat at the restaurant there since we both wanted fish. Noah got a chocolate chip cookie with his shrimp and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's obvious these are her pictures because I'm in them and the quality is so much better. Did I mention I am jealous? This picture is just hilarious... it wasn't that he was scared, he just didn't want to be picked up or have his picture taken. After dinner we roamed around for a bit, but Noah was being super hyper hypo, probably due to the sugar overload. Also he's been bad lately with listening. I'm remaining firm. Hopefully he'll get over it soon because he's driving me crazy! Anyway... we...

Again I got a phone call today that means we might not be moving to Ohio. OK. This is part of being in the military (or married to the military). You must have like 5 detailed plans at all times because everything is always changing and NOTHING is done any earlier than "the last minute". I have everything planned to go to Ohio if need be. I have everything planned to move to Arizona if need be. I have everything planned to stay here if need be. Plans for giving birth alone in Texas, giving birth alone in Ohio, having Josh there in Ohio, being possibly induced... it's quite tiring trying to be prepared for something you can't plan. Josh watching Noah sleep Of course what I'm really really hoping for is Arizona. As much as I love my family, I think I'm ready to actually have a functioning one of my own. I don't feel like going into detail because quite frankly I'm sick of thinking about it. I can't take much more of this flip-flop crap... g...