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First Day Out

I am in complete awe with Tristan. I was in complete awe with Noah too, but in a different way. I can't believe how small but perfect everything is... like his tiny little pinky nail. It's just so amazing. Tristan is so alert. He kept smiling at everyone today and I was hesitant to believe he knew what he was doing. He's only 5 days old! It was very odd, but I swear he was responding to our voices.

Noah seems ginormous now, especially his hands. He loooves his little brother. He pronounces his name "Trichan", but mostly he calls him "baby brudder". Today he was pretending to be falling off the boat (which was the bed) and he would say "OH NO Help, baby! Gimme your hand!" and grab Tristan's hand. He never actually pulled on it. He understands that Tristan is very small and fragile. He's been extremely gentle with him thus far and even runs to wash his hands before touching him. I've been doing more and more without the help of my parents. I figure I should wean myself slowly so I don't go into shock once I'm on my own with them. Luckily, Noah is pretty well behaved and Tristan is a very mellow baby.

I unexpectedly got all depressed today. Postpartum depression be damned!! I'm sure it doesn't help that I have the added sadness of not having Josh around. Mom said it helps to focus on the good things. I have two healthy gorgeous babies and a wonderful husband. Josh might not be here, but he's alive and well and he'll be here eventually. He loves us and takes care of us and I'm thankful for that. I laughed a little bit over remembering lines from "Office Space" (which my parents had never seen!). I finally cheered up towards the end of the day.

My mom and I took Tristan over to Babies R Us after dinner. My last baby monitor crapped out sometime during Noah's early toddlerhood and we never replaced it. We were only out for about 30 minutes... if that. I think that was ample time for me to be a little less stir crazy. I enjoyed the looks of awe my beautiful boy got from all those pregnant women and grandmas. I finished my day with a hot relaxing shower. I can't wait to talk to Josh. This will all be over soon. Time will pass just as quickly as these 3 years have and it will bury all the bad memories and stressful days. I look forward to that!

Comments

Britni said…
I love love love the 1st picture.Oh he is just sooo cute!
Your Mom is right.Moms are so good at pep talks aren't they?You have a loving husband & two beautiful boys.Everything will work itself out.Just enjoy your little newborn.I can't believe that just 4 & 1/2 months ago Ember was this tiny.She is now 15 lbs 12 oz!

Noah is so sweet.I can see him calling Tristan "baby brudder".I feel like I know him even though I've never met him.I am so glad he is old enough to do so much on his own.That will be a huge help to you!
9/19/2007 12:27 AM
Britni said…
By the way Tristan has so much hair!!It's adorable :)
9/19/2007 12:27 AM
Amalia said…
He does have alot of hair! yeah postpartum depression is horrible. I am sure you are just going through the normal emotions though. You have been through alot the last few days, shoot, last few years. Your mom is right, also don't forget how strong you are, I mean, HELLO, NO DRUGS DURING LABOR! YOUR SHE-RA!
9/19/2007 3:39 AM
Anonymous said…
I love mom's to. Your mom sounds very supportive. DOn't you love the grandma's that just come up and try to pinch your babies face. I worried so much about germs and stuff. We made everyone wash their hands. Dave was such a stickler on that. That is great that Noah is washing his hands. You taught him well. I like the new pictures of Tristan.
9/19/2007 12:36 PM
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