Anniversary Perspectives
Today marks the 3 year anniversary since the day Josh walked out our door to cross over from the Air Force to the Army. As you all know, he has not been back since that day. It's been a very long three years. I guess it would have been harder had I actually gotten used to having him around, but he left when Noah was only 2 and a half months old. Three years and we're not even a single step closer to knowing what the hell is going on with us, where we'll be, or WHEN. I don't want to dwell on the negative, but that's exactly what I've been doing all day. So... what I'm gonna do now is vent to get it all off my chest and then talk myself back out of it. Let's do some math. I'm going to take a trip down memory lane and add up all the times Josh WAS here.
...and the grand total is 115 days, more or less. The earlier stuff might not be very accurate. Out of 1,095 possible days we've been together for a mere 115. Yes it certainly sucks, but it could be much worse. Josh came home from Iraq. He was able to witness Tristan's birth. We're still married. We have a house. We are fine financially. Blah blah blah some other positive crap. I'm not in the mood to feel happy right now. Yes, we're blessed in many ways and I'm thankful. I'm just getting tired of all this stupid Army bullshit. I reserve the right to be pissed off at least once or twice over this unnecessary separation. I have decided to take a more active role in trying to fix our problems. I plan on contacting our Congressman by phone this time. I've had enough. Josh is trying to do everything the "Army" way and give these people the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm not saying he isn't trying, but his hands are tied from certain options. I'm not enlisted anymore so I don't have to worry about their dumb rules.
I had crap happen today that was really what triggered my mood. I called the hospital to try and make my post-partum appointment. There apparently aren't any appointments available at all because they didn't "turn in the schedule" so I was told to call back later in the week... what??!! Then I went down to the hospital to try and enroll Tristan in the health insurance program, waited for 30 minutes. The chick calls me up and says I'm not allowed to do it, only Josh can. He's not here, I explained. I need to come back with a power of attorney and a copy of his orders to Germany in order to prove... God, I don't even know what that proves or why they need this crap... I guess to prove he's gone? Either that or I have to mail the birth certificate to Josh in Germany and he can do it from there. Problems? We don't have orders because they illegally changed them and failed to provide an amendment. Josh was already outprocessed from the base so he doesn't have a mailbox at all. My opinion is... ^%@#&^@^%# #&*^$^&#%$ $*#&^*&$# &*^$&*^@. And then some.
14 days in December of '04 for Christmas
03 days in February of '05 for our "CC"
06 days in April of '05 for our 2nd anniversary
06 days in June of '05 for leave en route to Germany (also my birthday)
14 days in August of '05 for leave before deployment to Iraq
13 days in April of '06 for R&R leave & 3rd anniversary
09 days in October of '06 for leave after Iraq
27 days in December of '06 when we went to Germany for the holidays
09 days in April of '07 for our 4th anniversary
14 days in September of '07 for Tristan's birth
...and the grand total is 115 days, more or less. The earlier stuff might not be very accurate. Out of 1,095 possible days we've been together for a mere 115. Yes it certainly sucks, but it could be much worse. Josh came home from Iraq. He was able to witness Tristan's birth. We're still married. We have a house. We are fine financially. Blah blah blah some other positive crap. I'm not in the mood to feel happy right now. Yes, we're blessed in many ways and I'm thankful. I'm just getting tired of all this stupid Army bullshit. I reserve the right to be pissed off at least once or twice over this unnecessary separation. I have decided to take a more active role in trying to fix our problems. I plan on contacting our Congressman by phone this time. I've had enough. Josh is trying to do everything the "Army" way and give these people the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm not saying he isn't trying, but his hands are tied from certain options. I'm not enlisted anymore so I don't have to worry about their dumb rules.I had crap happen today that was really what triggered my mood. I called the hospital to try and make my post-partum appointment. There apparently aren't any appointments available at all because they didn't "turn in the schedule" so I was told to call back later in the week... what??!! Then I went down to the hospital to try and enroll Tristan in the health insurance program, waited for 30 minutes. The chick calls me up and says I'm not allowed to do it, only Josh can. He's not here, I explained. I need to come back with a power of attorney and a copy of his orders to Germany in order to prove... God, I don't even know what that proves or why they need this crap... I guess to prove he's gone? Either that or I have to mail the birth certificate to Josh in Germany and he can do it from there. Problems? We don't have orders because they illegally changed them and failed to provide an amendment. Josh was already outprocessed from the base so he doesn't have a mailbox at all. My opinion is... ^%@#&^@^%# #&*^$^&#%$ $*#&^*&$# &*^$&*^@. And then some.
Comments
You are entitled to vent,and it's your blog.If anyone doesn't want to hear it,they don't need to read it right?
I don't see Mark during the day & I'm sure I could go on & on about how hard it is to have two kids & do everything.But I know you love it,just like I do :)I think what it comes down to is the fact that you miss your husband,his company and him physically being there...,not to mention someone to take charge of the kids even if it's only for an hour out of the week so you can take a drive..and looking forward to him coming home every evening.I can see why you are hurting and I'm so sorry.On the rare ocassion that I do get a breather & drive around I feel a little guilty & think man,I'm sure Allie could use this right now!I think a lot of people take advantage of how easy things really are for most of us.
Take a deep breathe and sit back.I hope you can resolve Tristan's health insurance.What a huge pain...really,ugh.
I'll be thinking about you guys & praying something good happens soon for you all to be together again.
I really don't have it all that bad. I've got some great friends out here that I can count on and that helps a LOT!
I can't wait to meet your girls, by the way :) And Mark too, I guess ;) haha
If only you could just get a few answers so you'd at least know what to expect...
And if only the chick who wouldn't let you enroll Tristan in the health insurance program would fall into a giant hole... Ok, I know she's probably just doing her job, but it's easier to wish one person could fall into a hole than an entire system.
Hang in there, Allie.
I hope you're able to get the insurance crap settled. That is truly unbelievable. Hang in there!
Anyways I just wanted to tell you that you amaze me how gracious and strong you are about how much time you have had to spend apart from your husband. I know you have no other choice but I feel like if I had to do what you have had to do I would be incredibly negative and depressed. All that to say I hope you guys find out your new orders soon- the army really does suck how they disregard the importance of keeping families together....